Think Win/Win - Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Habit 4: Put First Things First

Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Today we will cover the 4th Habit from Covey's book: Think Win/Win.

To quickly surmise what we have covered earlier.

 The first habit (Be Proactive) stipulates that you are in charge of your life. the second habit (Begin with the End in Mind) is a mental creation and is based on your ability to see the potential and create with the mind. The third habit (Put First Things First) is the physical component to fulfil and actualise the outputs of habits 1 and 2.

The 6 Paradigms of Human Interaction.

Covey proposes that human interaction can go 6 ways.

1. Win/Win

This is where you seek mutual benefit in all human interactions. It is a better way.

2. Win/Lose

This is the authoritarian response. If I win, you lose. Most people are deeply scripted in this. It is reinforced by the academic world when grades are matched to a normal distribution curve. Athletics is also a powerful programming agent for Win/Lose.

3. Lose/Win

This is often seen in those who are quick to please and those who gain their strength from popularity or acceptance.

4. Lose/Lose

This occurs when both people are stubborn and want to get back or get even.

5. Win

This is simply wanting to when but not necessarily wanting someone else to lose.

6. Win/Win or No Deal

This is an extreme version of win/win. Essentially, if you can’t find a mutually beneficial agreement, then you agree to disagree and walk away.

What do you usually do?

Are you the kind of person that always seeks to win? Or are you the kind who constantly lets others get their way so you can be popular?

What it takes to get the win/win

Character Traits

Covey proposes that it takes certain character traits to pursue a win/win.

The first essential character trait is integrity; our ability to clearly identify and live by our values. This is the only way we can know what a win for us really is.

The second essential character trait is maturity. Maturity is the balance between courage and consideration and is fundamental to Win/Win. If you are high on courage and low on consideration you'll be ego bound and lean toward Win/Lose and borrow strength from position or power. If high on consideration and low on courage, you'll lean toward Lose/Win and not have the courage to express your own desires.

The final essential character trait is abundance mentality. If you think there is a scarcity or follow a zero-sum paradigm, it is difficult to achieve Win/Win solutions.

Photo by Ruckrutsamee Woothimanop/iStock / Getty Images

Relationships

Once the foundation of character is established, we can build and maintain Win/Win relationships. The essence of this is the Emotional Bank Account. Without trust, the best that can be achieved is compromise. With trust, we can listen with respect and understanding and can therefore search for a Third Win/Win solution. 

When dealing with a person who is coming from a Win/Lose paradigm, relationship is still important. You can build the emotional bank account and have more influence with that person.

Agreements

From these relationships, flows agreements and direction to Win/Win. In Win/Win agreements, five elements are made evident. The desired results, guidelines specifying the parameters, resources to meet the goals, standards of performance and timelines are established and the consequences for not meeting these standards.

Systems

Win/Win systems create the environment which supports Win/Win agreements. In businesses, this can be done be encouraging people to work together against external standards rather than each other.

 Processes

So, we know that Win/Win is important. But, how do we achieve it?!

1.     See the problem from the other point of view. Understand their needs and concerns.

2.     Second, identify the key concerns and issues.

3.     Determine what results would be fully acceptable.

4.     Identify possible new options to achieve these.

This is something that is harder to put into practice than it sounds. Especially when something is important to you.

So what kind of person are you? Do you have the character traits to achieve a win/win? Can you build an emotional bank account? Can you follow the for steps to win/win?

Next week, we'll look at Habit 5: Seek First to Understand then to be Understood.